But does it come in a serif font?

For all you OCD subs!

It's criminal

Went to Borders to get a book today. And found them selling cookware. And photo frames and gee-gaws, all stacked aptly under "crime".

Mis-prince?

Does this look like Harry or Wills on this royal wedding commemorative mug?

Did they get the wrong prince?

Not your usual bored games

I did not expect to see Scrabble and Monopoly on the supermarket shelves. What fun, two classic board games in edible form. And Belgian chocolate too! The only problem with this is it's literally game over after just one play.

Don't get excited now

Bet you didn't think that hair gel could be X-rated? Wonder why it's only for ladies then.

Seek and ye possibly may find

I'm not sure if an online classified ads portal is the best place to look for a "mistress" (and why is it in inverted commas?) but you can't fault the entrepreneurship. Even Craigslist had to start somewhere.

I finally geddit

To stay topical on the World Cup:

Off-side Rule explained for women (courtesy Bill Shepherd)

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The 'opposing' female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.The shop assistant remains at the till waiting. Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes. Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

Don't drink and drive, navigate instead

I should have a tag on fun items spotted on supermarket shelves.

OK, it makes sense to call a beer with 11.6% alcohol content the Maximator. But Navigator for regular-ish 8.4% beer? Would you trust a navigator who's under the influence? Better than a driver, I suppose.

BTW, their non-alcoholic beer is the Liberator (and it comes in a can half the size of the Navigator and Maximator -- presumably those who watch their alcohol intake are also watching their calories). Although some would question how liberating non-alcoholic beer really is.

Some story

I hope the cock and bull ends at the label and that the wine is really something.

Bwahahaha

When Iceland's economy died, its final wish was to have its ashes scattered all over Europe.
(attributed to a Facebook posting)

Real Madrid versus Barca

And we're not even talking football but potato chips. I can hardly wait for Liverpool versus Manchester United.

As sure as there are fishes in the ocean

The fine print on the label of this bottle of cider (and isn't Pipsqeak such a cute name?) is: "Contains/produced with fish products"

So somebody please tell me where's the fish in apple juice?

Marmite on toast

Remember the Virgin Mary toast?

Well now, there's Jesus on the Marmite.

God goes high tech

In a previous life, I used to work in a publishing company that also had a tele-marketing department. That was really just two kids sitting down with a phone directory and methodically calling every phone number listed in it.

Now, tele-marketeers have computers to do the dialling for them. Some even have recorded messages to do the hard-selling.

What I didn't expect was for God to do the same. L picked up the phone today and was somewhat startled to hear a recorded message informing him that Jesus loves him, and that if he wanted to know more, he could call a certain number. Thank goodness he didn't. It could be a long-distance call scam, and god knows how much it'll cost to call Heaven.

On guard

I'm well aware of having to be on the lookout for abandoned bags and suspicious packages on the subway but until I saw this poster on the platform, I didn't think that we're being threatened by rogue herds of footballs too. But I will now view every ball I see with suspicion. Anything to fight terrorism.

Could anyone eat this with a straight face?

Spotted this in a pharmacy, in the supplements section. I had no idea what Horny Goat Weed is (it comes in two versions, His and Hers) and had to Google for it. Turns out it does naturally and herbally what Viagra does.

You gotta admit that with a generic name like that, it can sell itself without much marketing effort. And it's probably more organic than a blue rhumboid pill. But do you really want to put a Horny Goat Weed in your mouth?

How far along did you say she was?

This is part of the Christmas tableaux display that stretches down the Orchard Road pedestrian mall. This one is the 'No Room at the Inn' scene. Mary doesn't look terribly preggers, does she?

Fact and fiction

Because I work nights, I watch quite a bit of daytime TV (well, I don't always watch but L leaves the TV on) and the afternoon 3pm slot has gone through the gamut of drama series from the 80s -- The Scarecrow and Mrs King, The Fall Guy, now you know where old TV series go to die.

Only lately, that slot has been taken up by The West Wing and not only is it fairly recent, they're showing the season where Jimmy Smits runs for president. We know he wins it of course. Some programmer must be timing this for the run-up to the US elections.

Funny how fiction points to the future (well, let's see if this one turns out that way) -- brown Democrat candidate wins over old white man. With the other scenario mapped out in Commander in Chief -- woman VP from nowhere becomes president when old white guy in charge dies.

Do Hollywood scriptwriters know something that we don't?

Such stuff as dreams are made on

This poster is popping up at bus-stops in the space meant for billboard ads. It's all very rah-rah and all, what with the Olympics starting this weekend, but am I the only one who wants to take a red pencil to it?

God is feeling a little gay

I'm telling ya, Jesus wept. With laughter.